I Use To . . .

. . . have a blog, elsewhere.
It doesn't matter where it was.

I stopped writing a month ago due to a bully, a sacking and a lawyer. I didn't do anything wrong. The bully was just really good at scaring others into action.

But . . .  the need to write has been so intrinsic that I have to find my voice again.

So I am here. Now.

................................................

For seven weeks I have allowed the desire to die, waft through my ether.

Although I did not entertain the thought by providing a plan of action, I certainly woke up every day - disappointed. Damn! I'm still here.

I have no one to talk to. I have no confident, no family, no partner. My closest friend doesn't 'do emotion'. Although I am generous and warm and caring, I hold everyone at arms length due to multiple betrayals and heartbreaks.

Due to my 27 year existence with depression, I cannot face more heartache. I am strong - not invincible!!!

You are now my only avenue of confidence. The only place where I can say just how much pain I am in, and how strong I am to survive every day.

I am not suicidal.

I just wish I didn't have to live anymore.